The End of the Affair by Greene Graham

Author:Greene, Graham [Graham, Greene]
Format: epub, mobi, azw3
Published: 2010-05-18T23:00:00+00:00

5

'8 May 1945. '

Went down to St James's Park in the evening to watch them celebrate V. E. day. It was very quiet beside the floodlit water between the Horse Guards and the palace. Nobody shouted or sang or got drunk. People sat on the grass in twos, holding hands. I suppose they were happy because this was peace and there were no more bombs. I said to Henry, 'I don't like the peace.'

' I'm wondering where I shall be drafted from the Ministry of Home Security.'

'Ministry of Information?' I asked, trying to be interested.

'No, no, I wouldn't take it. It's full of temporary civil servants. How would you like the Home Office?'

'Anything, Henry, that pleased you,' I said. Then the Royal Family came out on the balcony and the crowd sang very decorously. They weren't leaders like Hitler, Stalin, Churchill, Roosevelt: they were just a family who hadn't done any harm to anybody. I wanted Maurice beside me. I wanted to begin again. I wanted to be one of a family too.

'Very moving, isn't it,' Henry said. 'Well, we can all sleep quiet at night now,' as though we ever did anything else at night but just sleep quiet.

'10 September 1945. '

I have got to be sensible. Two days ago when I was clearing out my old bag - Henry suddenly gave me a new one as a 'peace present' - it must have cost him a lot of money - I found a card saying 'Richard Smythe 16 Cedar Road 4-6 daily for private advice. Anyone welcome.' I thought, I have been pulled about long enough. Now I'll take a different medicine. If he can persuade me that nothing happened, that my promise doesn't count, I'll write to Maurice and ask him if he wants to go on again. Perhaps I'll even leave Henry. I don't know. But first I've got to be sensible. I won't be hysterical any more. I'll be reasonable. So I went and rang the bell in Cedar Road.

Now I'm trying to remember what happened. Miss Smythe made tea and after tea she went and left me alone with her brother. He asked me what my difficulties were. I sat on a chintz sofa and he sat on a rather hard chair with a cat on his lap. He stroked the cat and he had beautiful hands and I didn't like them. I almost liked the spots better, but he chose to sit showing me only his good cheek.

I said, 'Will you tell me why you are so certain there isn't a God?'

He watched his own hands stroking the cat, and I felt sorry for him because he was proud of his hands. If his face hadn't been marked, perhaps he would have had no pride.

'You've listened to me speaking on the Common?'

'Yes,' I said.

'I have to put things very simply there. To sting people into thinking for themselves. You've started thinking for yourself?'

'I suppose so.'

'What church have you been brought up in?'

'None.'

'So you

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